The Zoo & Autism is in not racist, it is not judgmental, but sexist (from 5/16/11)

Yesterday K had her last school field trip for the year. Her school went to the local zoo. I went as a chaperone and took 1/2 day off from work.

At the school, I pull in and was told by the Autism Guidance Counselor that do to the number of students going that all parents who were attending the trip had to drive their own kids. Okay no problem in driving my daughter to the zoo. I then go into her classroom and all the kids were watching the spaceship launch. K say me and got all excited, starting jumping around and said "Mommy" and gave me a hug! Then one of her classmates came over and gave me a hug. I told K to go sit back down with the other students and she sat back down, but not without crying. I filled out the student release form and her teacher Ms.Y told K that she could come back over to me, that K did not understand why I told her to go sit back down. So K back up and came over to me. That was the first of the melt downs (minor - but the first).

K and I leave her classroom and go the car. K sees the bus and wants to get on it - K LOVES riding the bus to school. She understood that she was riding with me, but she wanted to be on the bus. That started the next melt down. K started to whine and cry. I tried to tell her that the bus does not have her toys nor music. She came to car and I got her in. At that point, she decided she did not want to wear the "field day shirt" and proceed to take it off. K had a dress on, so taking off the shirt was no big deal. Then we had to wait for the students to load the bus. This took awhile and K hates waiting in the car with the car at a standstill. K could have gone into further melt down mood, but I saved the day by putting on David Bowie's "Golden Years". K calmed down and soon we got moving.

We got to the zoo after taking some weird longish way rather then going straight on the interstate, but that is what I get for following the bus driver. We get out of the car and the bus unloads. We all walk up to the zoo entrance, and I am surrounded by a sea of purple shirts - the color of the special "field day shirts". 60 or so students, teachers and paraprofessionals all in purple. I look around and there are mostly boys from Pre-K to 5th grade with only a few girls in the mix. I counted 5 girls (including K) there could have been as many as 10 girls. I found that in this crowd, that Autism is in not racist, it is not judgmental - it affects all families in all races in all income brackets. Autism may be slightly sexist by impacting more boys then girls, but it could also be that girls are harder to diagnosis then boys if the girls have HFA (High Functioning Autism).  (This a post for another day to go into.)

K got in for free, I had to pay. After paying, we followed the mass amount of purple shirts into the zoo. I followed Ms. Y and her class to the train. This zoo has a train that circles the back with 2 stops - one stop near the main exit and the other stop at the back off the zoo. Come to find out there would not be another train for about 20 minutes. Then the conductor decided to get another train rather then making all the kids wait. I had asked K is she wanted to wait for the train or go see the animals. K choose waiting for the train. So we waited. While waiting, there was one child who I do not know if he was verbal or not, but he was sitting. He started fussing and making noise, I believe he did not like waiting. The train came and we boarded. Once we were sitting on the train and the train took off, there was a girl behind who was rocking back and forth during the whole ride. Her father kept telling her to "stop rocking". The boy next to us was rocking as well, but his father did not tell him to stop. Now does telling your child who is stimming to stop help? I really don't know. (K does not rock - she gets all bouncy, jumpy and hand flapping when she is happy or excited ... but I do not tell her to stop. She does when she is upset hit her head and I will tell her stop then. Or with loud noises until she gets use to the sound she will stick her fingers near her ears - this happens a lot since DH works with power tools.)

At the second stop, K was given the option to keep riding or go see the animals. K again chose to ride on the train. She said "I want train please". After that was over, K looked at me and said "Go see animals". So off we went to see the various animals. The animals that attracted the most attention from K was the giraffes, the red viper, the fish, and the dinosaur attraction.

At this zoo, there are giraffes that you pay $2 and you can feed them. K at first tried tearing off the little leaves from the 2 twigs she was given to feed the giraffe. Then she tried to give the giraffe the whole twig. Finally, she got the hang of breaking off the little twigs from the main twig and feeding it to the giraffe. K did a good job feeding the giraffe. Previously, when trying to feed animals, K would flip out and not want to do it.

Next the red viper snake held her attention. In the snake house there were all these snakes, lazing about as snakes do. Nothing really held her attention until we came across the red viper. This snake was moving all about and up the window. K was just amazed at this animal. We stood there for several mintues watching this snake. When it was time to move on K, did not want to go so we watched the snake some more.

We then went to the "Dino Alive" exhibit. I personally would not have gone to it myself, but K loved it. At first she was not sure how to make out the dinosaurs.  They were not caged in like the other animals. It was set up on a path, almost like a safari excursion, expect there were no jeeps. The dinosaurs were "kept back" by these wood fences. Obviously the dinosaurs were mechanical.  K was interested in all of it. There was this one dinosaur that we walked past, as we walked past it, it spit water at us. K got all wet. I moved her back into the path of the spitting dinosaur so she would get wet again. K said "Stop dinosaur stop!". Then there was this fort built with sticks that the kids could climb on. Since K is a master climber - she had a ball on this. Then once we left, there was the gift shop with the mechanical dinosaurs that the kid could control. K had fun with that.

Overall we had a good time! K came home with me for the day rather then going back to school and to extended day care.

And the Winner is ...

Now Saturday when we were looking at dogs the choice was at first narrowed down to Merry (a lab/retriever mix), Shiva (a retriever/dachshund mix) and that was it. On Saturday, I was told that Shiva had heartworms and needed to be kept calm - not a good fit with K. So I was thinking Merry would be a great fit for our family. But the Humane Society was closing and there was no one there that really knew what dogs would be good with kids.

Monday rolled around and I went back to the Humane Society. I looked at the dogs again and in the running was Merry, Scrappy (another lab/retriever mix), Oliver (a beagle mix). These dogs were all under a year old. I spoke with a very helpful woman named Berta. She interviewed me and said that she would prefer to see Merry in a setting with a yard rather then an apartment. This was because Merry would be a big dog and needs lots of room to run and play. I told her whatever dog we choose would be walked several times a day and taken to a local dog park. Berta frowned on that - only because of the apartment living. She brought Merry out to meet me anyway. Merry was a sweet and loving dog, but she had a lot of energy and loves to jump. She loved to jump a little too much, and I know with K that would freak her out. So I had to be fair to Merry and leave her. She is a dog that deserves a big yard to run and play in. It is not fair to any dog not to have a yard to play in.

The next choice was Scrappy. He was vetoed down by Berta even before we got to meet him. This was because he was apart of a pair. The Human Society would not split the pair up ... and I am not ready to own 2 dogs.

The third choice was Oliver. Now I did not see Oliver on Saturday or on Monday when I looked at the dogs. He was not in his cage. I took a chance because I had a beagle mix dog before and she was great! Oliver came out and he was calm. He loved to play and was friendly. He jumped a bit, but he is a puppy. Like the saying goes, three times is a charm and knew that this was the dog for our family.

After work and school, DH and I took K to meet Oliver. K was more interested in the toys then the actual dog at first. DH was happy with Oliver and the deal was sealed. We brought Oliver home Monday night. Oliver was renamed by DH as Snoopy.

Now Monday night, K was excited by Snoopy, but still much more interested in his toys. Before she went to bed, she sat by Snoopy's cage and said "Snoopy goes night-night".

Tuesday night, K sat by Snoopy's cage and was singing to him.

Wednesday morning, she was taking Snoopy's toys and he would chase her in the apartment. He would like her or try to get the toy. K would scream then laugh and then say "K okay" with a big old grin on her face.

Wednesday night, she climbed into the kennel cage and tried to close the door. Also on the way home from school, K was asking for Snoopy.

K is real curious about Snoopy. She will sit by his cage and watch him and talk or sing to him. She is learning to say "Down Snoopy" "No Snoopy". She likes him a lot and she has been calmer in the 3 1/2 days that we have had him. K is still a little nervous around him, but I think that will soon pass.

So the obvious winner was Snoopy - he is overall a loving, friendly, happy, quiet dog.

Speech Therapy and Easter

 

 K's speech therapist is having her use the words "in", "out", "under" and "on". So in the season of Easter, I have been using a basket with plastic eggs. I let K pick out her basket when we were at the dollar store. Last night, I had her pick out the eggs by using her words "I want pink egg, please". The I have been having her count the eggs, put them in, under, out and on top of the basket. Once we were done with that, I hid the eggs in obvious places so K could find them. When K found all 10 eggs, she had the biggest smile on her face!

After that, K practiced writing K, C, and A. These are some letters of her name that she has some trouble writing. She is getting better, but like they say, practice makes perfect!

K - the fashion diva

The new fashion diva - K!!!

K and clothes - clothes and K! K has a love for clothes. She LOVES shoes, she LOVES certain articles of clothing. She loves this part of plaid shorts that are yellow, pink, green, brown. They kind of remind me of golf shorts. She has a love for clothes with pockets and buttons and zippers and clothes that have shiny graphics or clothes that light up. She has this butterfly dress that has a tie near the top and I have done "bunny ears" and now she loves that dress. She will want to wear this certain clothes over and over again whether they are clean or dirty. She has changed clothes on her father before going to school and has worn some creative designs. Like a purple crush velvet dress with teal sweat pants. She has decided not to wear panties under her pants. She is now wearing the butterfly dress with a pair of jeans and sandals. She has her own taste to be sure - she would changes clothes morning, noon and night if we let her!!!

Hard Thinking to do

I am trying to research and work on a post regarding Autism and Marriage. It is a work in progress. Not yet completed. I am going through my own issues in my marriage regarding K's autism and some of her behaviors. My husband and I are both stressed. Stressed with everything. When I was on my trip last week there were some things that K was doing - good things, great improvements and upward progress that she makes in little tiny steps here. She was surround by lots of people and family and it did the K good. I think that she made more progress in 10 days then in 6 months. Hmmm-that pretty bad. I have lots of things to think about and what is best for K.

To ipad or not to ipad - that is that question

There is a lot of buzz now about the ipad ... a lot of buzz about this device being helpful to children with Autism and helping them to communicate to the world ... since so many have difficulties being able to do so on their own. (SEE POST: ALL ABOUT AUTISM)

So my question for my family and for K is "To ipad or not to ipad?"

I read and hear about the good that it is doing for non-verbal and limited verbal children (like my K). That for some kids it is limiting or eliminating the tantrums that they would normally have since they are able to communicate their needs and wants.

This is what DH  and I both want for K. We want K to communicate with us. If this piece of technology will help her then we are all for it. We just need to factor in the price of this tool and the price of the apps that she will use. It is something that we need to work into our budget.

Now there are some places that are assisting with the cost for ipad for low income families and more research needs to be done on that.

Below are some links relating to the cost of the ipad, news stories and information on apps:

Cost of the Ipad:
Cost of ipad from Amazon.com

News Articles:
Mother sets out to buy iPads for other autistic children
Is the iPad a 'Miracle Device' for Autism?
The Conversation: iPad Gives Voice to the Autistic
Students with autism, Asperger's develop iPad app
Can the iPad Be a Learning Tool for Kids With Autism?

Articles about Apps for the ipad:
iPad for Autism: Selecting the best apps
10 Revolutionary iPad Apps to Help Autistic Children

Northern Trip - airplanes & cancer

K & I being picked up from the airport!

I have not posted for a few days because I have been in the northern portion of the US since the 25th.

K and I left for our destination on 3/25 via airplane. I was sooo nervous about flying with K since it was both our first time flying.

We got to the airport 2 hrs early. I was loaded down with one rolling back, my laptop bag, purse and a backpack loaded to the hilt with K's toys. DH dropped us off and said his goodbyes. We checked in the rolling bag and went through security and no mishaps. K and I stopped at one of the restaurants.  We sat by the windows so she could see the airplanes with the people loading and unloading. We shared a thing of fries and she had her grapefruit juice. I pointed out the planes and explained where the people were going and what they were doing with the bags. K' s eyes were glued to the window and she kept saying "airplane" and pointing at them.

Then we had about an hour to wait. We loaded our plane as one of the first families. Once K was on the plane she could not get enough of looking out the window. (We were told to put her "noisy toys" away - I never flown before & did not give thought to the noise of her toys bothering other people - the idea was to keep her happy.) Anyway, she LOVED the flight and looking out the window. K sat for 2 and 1/2 hours with out incident. She got to a point where she would say to me "Ears pop, candy please". During the flight I gave her laughy taffy to chew on to help with the ear popping. Also when she was looking out the window she kept saying "ocean" when she saw the clouds.

When it came time to unload, K was a little restless and started to get cranky. This was because she saw everyone else getting off the plan. Once she was off the plan she was fine. V picked us up and we went to get "real" pizza. K was happy to eat and to play with the ice in her water. From there we went to V's house and stayed the night. K was happy to run up and down the stairs and flop on V's bed. K did this all Friday night and Saturday mourning.  V (our cousin) made us breakfast on Saturday. She made scrambled eggs, home fries, toast and sausage. K was only interested in eating the toast with jelly and got jelly all over V's glass topped table and on the chair.


After that we got ready to go to Pop Pop's. We stopped at a florist to get pretty purple roses for Grandmom (she has stage 4 throat and lung cancer - hence the reason for our trip.). We stopped at Grandmom's and then at Pop Pops.

So we have been at Pop Pop's ever since.

Leaving on a Jet Plane - tips to flying with a child with autism

Ok so it is one week away or 6 days away that K and I hop on our first 2 hr flight to go visit family. I have being researching and trying to prepare for this adventure by asking people who have flown for tips, calling the US Airways, and looking up things on the computer. So this is what I have gathered:

What to check when ordering the tickets:

• Check details of tickets to make sure your seats are together (K and my seats were not together - I had to call the airlines 2 times to get this resolved with out having to pay extra for "choice seats")
• Call the airlines and state you are traveling with a child with Autism to find out what to do to make the how process smoother for you and your child - especially if you are first time fliers.
• Check to see if there is an Autism Fliers program in your area - this helps kids with autism to learn what to expect when flying - it creates a "mock" flying experience from start to end. (I did not have time to do this.)

What to bring:

• A backpack with toys for K
• My laptop & movies for K & head phones
• A power adapter for that laptop for the plane (consult with airline to see if the plane is equipped with a power source - you will have to provide your own adapter)
• Snacks for K - NO PUDDING CUPS (check with airline for type of drinks they have)
• Business cards that say "My daughter has autism. I am doing the best I can. Sorry for the inconvenience"
• Kiddie leash for K in the airport
• Change of clothes and wipes
• Antibacterial hand cleaner  
• Gum or now & laters, taffy or gummi bears to create that chewing motion (I do not give K gum)

What to do when getting to the airport: (Now this is the steps I am guessing at - have not been through these steps yet):

• Wear clothes with out metal (zippers, buttons, underwire in bras, etc.) Wear easy slip on clothes.
• Wear socks with your shoes.
• Get to the airport 2 to 1 1/2 hours before flight.
• Bring birth certificate for kids and State Id for yourself (My understating with US Airways is that I cannot check in on the computer systems because I am traveling with a child under 18. So I want to make sure that I have both our IDs just in case.)
• Advise airline when I get there that I am traveling with a child with autism when I check in. 
• Bring benadryll or other calming medication - to give before flight - depending on the time it takes to kick in.
• Do not give comfort toy to child until after security to prevent fall outs. 
• Provide another comfort item like Lollipop for security process (I am guessing - this works with K as a great motivator - but have not tested it out in airport security.)
• Tell security that my daughter has autism.
• Let the people who work on the plane know that my child has autism.
• Remain calm and positive and hope that the child is the same.
•  Hope and pray that it is a smooth flight.

Any one who has flown - who wants to make any suggestions- please do! I will report back on Fri March 25th how the flight went.

Below are some links to sites I have checked out regarding flying with a child who has autism:

• Flying can be a rough ride for autistic children, families
• Airport Check-in: Autistic kids learn about flying 
• Flying with Autism: Terrific New Resource 
• What to do when you're flying with your autistic child 
• Challenges of Flying With a Child With Autism 

Intro: K is a girl with Autism

"K" is a sweet & silly & affectionate  6 year old girl. She loves school and riding the bus. K enjoys The Wiggles and Dora the Explorer. Also she loves most any type of music and dancing too it. K loves when she listens to music with Daddy and Daddy sings to her. She loves toys that light up and play music or make random sounds. She also likes toys that have to have to do with ABC's. K enjoys playing outside and going to the park. She likes to ride her bike and go swimming. She also likes to play with play dough and puzzles and painting and drawing. K loves to be tickled!!! She will ASK to be tickled!!! K also like riding on horses. K is afraid of cows (only when trying to feed them). K like to go to McDonald's for the Happy Meal toy and likes the occasional soda and fries. She loves Birthday Cake Ice from Baskin Robbins. K likes pizza but LOVES, LOVES to eat salad and yogurt.  K also loves clothes - especially clothes that are glittery, metallic, light up or has some sort of graphic on it.

K may sound like any other 6 year old girl, but January 2011 she was diagnosed with Autism - Infantile Autism to be exact. This diagnosis did not come as a surprise to us - we have know all along for the past 2 years that she had Autism. We just had to go threw the motions of Early Steps, Child Find, and "The Official Diagnosis" from her Pediatric Neuro Developmental Doctor. Child Find had done the evaluation on K when she was 3 or 4 years of age. In January 2010 they placed her in a pre-K program for kids with Autism after everything was said and done based on the ADOS.

Based upon my experience of working with kids inside a day care setting and working with kids in a summer camp for the disabled, I had knew that K had Autism. I did do my research and I knew with 110% certainty.  K is more of a 2 year old inside a 6 year old's body. K has the speech and social skills and understanding of a 2 year old. Her speech is like really bad broken English - ie: "Potty minute" (Meaning "I will go potty in a minute"), "Please Ahhh" (meaning: "Please open your month"), "tickle", "Piggies" for "This little piggy..." she will say "Piggy Market" or "Piggy Home" or "Piggy Nine" or "Piggy Roast Beast" etc, and various other short and slitted phrases. She knows enough to get her point across most of the time. She knows all her shapes and colors and her ABC's and can identify her letters and some numbers. She has a very had time with her handwriting - she can make a circle, but is having the toughest time trying to write a square or letters. She can cut with scissors but not like a Neurotypical child. Her social skills are very much like a 2 year old - she will play with things but does not want to share, she is better with older kids or adults. Her understanding is the same - she will climb and you can tell her no a thousand times and she will keep doing it. She can be placed in time out or redirected and she will still do it. Her gross motor skills (walking, running, riding) a bike are right where they should be.

Now when K get upset or frustrated she will do what I call her "hell cat"/"feral cat" mood (may seem like harsh phrasing but it is used ONLY to sum up a series of actions). This mood is when she will yell or scream or growl, she will hit/kick walls and doors, she will hit her head, she will throw things, she will squeeze someone's arm (with me she will try to dig her nails into my skin when doing this - but only to me - and this is where the "hell/feral cat" comes in).

Currently K goes to school full time at the local public school that has an Autism Program and she is in extended care because both I and my husband work until about 5 pm. K goes to therapy 2 times a week. Once for OT and once for speech. I sit in the sessions so I can do the same out home with her. Occasionally I will take her to C.A.R.D. She is goes to Girl Scouts and I do have her go to church - but I am in the process of finding the "right" church for her. We do work related to speech and OT during the week.

I started a few days ago to start a Twitter Account to detail brief daily adventures of K. Then I found with only so much space to type in that I may need a Blog if I want to elaborate on a subject. So here we are today with a better explanation of the Makings of K.